4 Jokes For Sweetheart

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 05 2025

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Anyone here a fan of waking up early? Yeah, me neither. But my darling, my sweetheart, thinks it's the best idea in the world. She sets the alarm for the crack of dawn and then turns to me with that sweet smile and says, "Wake up, sweetheart, it's a beautiful day." I'm just laying there thinking, "The only beautiful thing right now is my dream where I'm a millionaire sleeping until noon." If waking up early is a sign of love, then consider me heartbroken.
You know, folks, I've been thinking about relationships lately. They say terms of endearment can make a big difference. My significant other recently started calling me "sweetheart." Now, that sounds nice, doesn't it? But here's the catch - it's always followed by something not so sweet. Like, "Sweetheart, can you take out the trash?" or "Sweetheart, do you mind doing the dishes?" It's like I've been given a pet name, and that name is "Chores." I'm waiting for the day they call me "Sweetheart, meet my friend, Vacuum Cleaner.
Do you ever let your sweetheart navigate when you're driving? It's an adventure, let me tell you. My sweetheart is the GPS guru. She confidently says, "Turn left here, sweetheart." But here's the thing - she's got this unique skill of confusing left with right. It's like playing a game of reverse psychology with the GPS. "Go left," she says, and I'm looking at a dead-end alley. I swear, if she were a GPS voice, she'd be the one saying, "In 500 feet, make a U-turn because sweetheart, I've changed my mind.
Let's talk about TV time in relationships. We all have different tastes, right? My sweetheart, though, she has this superpower. She can find the most emotional, heart-wrenching dramas on TV and insist we watch them together. She hands me the remote and says, "Sweetheart, let's watch something romantic." And suddenly, I'm watching a movie about a love triangle, and I'm the odd one out. If choosing what to watch were an Olympic sport, she'd take home the gold. Meanwhile, I'm just here trying not to cry during a chick flick.

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Aug 05 2025

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