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NRA Meditation Instructor
Achieving inner peace while locked and loaded
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My biggest struggle is convincing them that 'Namaste' is not a new type of ammo. And when they ask for a mantra, I suggest "Peace, Love, and AK-47," which might need some tweaking for universal acceptance.
NRA Chef
Creating a menu that satisfies both taste buds and trigger fingers
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The real challenge is dessert – finding a way to flambe without causing a panic. Nothing ruins a romantic evening like mistaking the crème brûlée for a Molotov cocktail.
NRA Wedding Planner
Making the big day unforgettable without making it the last day
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The real challenge is finding a florist who can incorporate bullets into the bouquet without turning it into a lethal weapon. Catching the bouquet suddenly becomes a risky sport.
NRA Pet Psychologist
Helping gun enthusiasts understand their furry friends' fears
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The real struggle is when owners want to train their parrots to mimic gunfire. I'm just waiting for the day I hear a parrot yell, "Lock and load" instead of "Polly wants a cracker.
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