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You ever notice how people nowadays just say "suh" instead of "what's up"? I mean, what happened to good old-fashioned words? Are we really in such a hurry that we can't spare the extra syllable? I tried using it the other day. I walked into a job interview, and the guy behind the desk goes, "Suh?" I'm thinking, "Is this an interview or a secret handshake? Am I supposed to reply with 'Nmu?'"
Imagine if we started using this in other situations. Doctor walks in: "Suh? Your test results are in." I'd be like, "Doc, can we not 'suh' this serious medical condition?
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I went to therapy the other day, and the therapist asked, "How are you feeling?" I replied with a confident "Suh." Therapist gives me this look like, "We might need an extra session this week." I can see it now, group therapy where we all sit in a circle and instead of sharing our feelings, we just go around saying, "Suh" to each other. That's it. No words, just "suh." It's the ultimate emotional expression.
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Suh" has become an epidemic. It's spreading faster than rumors at a family reunion. You can't escape it. I was at a funeral, and someone leaned over the casket and whispered, "Suh." I'm like, "Seriously? Even the dead can't rest in peace without a 'suh'?" I'm waiting for the day I go to the doctor, and instead of saying, "You have a cold," he just looks at me and goes, "Suh, you sick.
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I was in a foreign country, and someone came up to me and said, "Suh!" Now, I don't speak the language, but I figured, "Hey, 'suh' is universal, right?" So, I throw a casual "suh" back at them. Turns out, in their language, "suh" means something like, "I just insulted your grandmother." So here I am, unintentionally offending people with my attempt to be cool. I'm like the accidental insult ambassador. Can't we just stick to good old smiling and nodding when we're lost in translation?
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