4 Jokes For Stephen

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Mar 26 2025

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You ever notice how everyone's got that one friend named Stephen? No offense if your name is Stephen, but I swear, every Stephen I know has some kind of superpower. Like, not the cool superhero kind, but the kind that's just... weirdly specific.
I've got this buddy Stephen, right? His superpower is finding the absolute worst time to bring up uncomfortable topics. It's like he's got this sixth sense for social awkwardness. We could be at a funeral, and Stephen's like, "Hey, did you guys see that new documentary about death? It's killer!"
I'm convinced he's got a secret manual on how to make any situation uncomfortable. "Chapter 1: Bringing Up Exes at Weddings," written by Stephen. It's like, dude, can't we just mourn in peace without discussing my dating history?
Let's talk about Stephen's social media game. This guy treats his accounts like a personal diary, but for the whole world to see. I log in, and there's Stephen, sharing his deep thoughts on the nature of existence and what he had for breakfast.
He's got this knack for turning mundane moments into profound revelations. I'm waiting for his next post like, "Just realized the true meaning of life while unclogging my shower drain. #DeepThoughtsWithStephen"
I swear, Stephen's Instagram could be a self-help book. Chapter 1: Finding Inner Peace Through Avocado Toast. If enlightenment were measured in likes, Stephen would be the Dalai Lama of social media.
You know, Stephen's not just a master of discomfort and navigation; he's also a culinary genius. At least, in his mind. I went to his place once for dinner, and he proudly announced, "I'm making spaghetti from scratch."
Now, when someone says "from scratch," you expect flour, eggs, maybe some tomatoes. Stephen's version of "from scratch" involved opening a can of tomato sauce and cutting up hot dogs. Voila, gourmet cuisine, Stephen style!
I asked him about the hot dogs, and he said, "It adds character." I didn't have the heart to tell him that his spaghetti had more characters than a Netflix series.
Let me tell you about Stephen, the human GPS. This guy can navigate the city streets better than Google Maps, but with a twist. Stephen will take you on the scenic route, even if you're just going to the grocery store. I'm like, "Stephen, I just wanted some milk, not a grand tour of the city!"
And he's got this unwavering confidence in his sense of direction. We'll be driving in circles, and Stephen's like, "Trust me, I know a shortcut." Next thing you know, we're in Narnia trying to find Aslan instead of the dairy aisle.
I'm thinking of selling tickets for Stephen's guided tours. "Get lost with Stephen – the only tour where you'll question your life choices and the meaning of 'shortcut'.

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