4 Jokes About Social Media Influencers

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Updated on: Jul 01 2024

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Social media influencers love their filters, don't they? I mean, some of them look like they're living in a perpetual sunset. I tried using one of those beauty filters once, and suddenly I had cheekbones that could cut glass! I looked like I just stepped out of a magazine, or at least a magazine for aliens who have never seen humans.
But it's not just about looking good anymore; it's about looking flawless in everyday situations. I want a filter that makes me look put together when I'm trying to assemble IKEA furniture. "Just built a bookshelf without crying. #HandyManGoneRight #DIYQueen." Spoiler alert: the bookshelf is still in the box, and I'm still crying.
You ever notice how everyone's becoming a social media influencer these days? I mean, it's like a real-life version of 'The Truman Show,' but with filters and hashtags! And don't get me started on those influencers who think they can turn anything into a brand. "Today's video: turning my existential crisis into a lifestyle brand! Like and subscribe for daily breakdowns!"
I tried being an influencer once. I posted a selfie with my cat, trying to look all mysterious and profound. I wrote, "Contemplating the complexities of the universe with Mr. Whiskers. #PhilosophicalFeline #DeepThoughtsWithFluffy." Guess what? Mr. Whiskers scratched me and knocked my phone into the toilet. Turns out, the universe wasn't a fan of my deep thoughts.
You ever see those influencers who use, like, 20 hashtags in one post? I swear, they're playing hashtag bingo. "Just had avocado toast for breakfast while doing yoga and contemplating world peace. #Namaste #YogaLife #AvocadoAdventures #InnerPeace #BrunchGoals #ToastEnlightenment." I'm just waiting for someone to slip in a hashtag like #ExistentialCrisis or #ForgotToPayRent.
I tried it myself. Posted a picture of my sandwich with the caption, "Eating a sandwich because I forgot to grocery shop. #Adulting #BreadWinner #CheesePlease #LunchTimeLament." Turns out, the only thing I won was a lecture from my mom about the importance of a balanced diet.
Have you ever met someone in person that you follow on Instagram? It's like meeting a celebrity, but instead of autographs, they give you a vague sense of disappointment. "Wait, you mean you don't have a team of makeup artists following you around, ensuring perfect lighting at all times?"
I met an influencer who posts these amazing travel photos. Mountains, beaches, exotic locations. When I met her, she told me her secret: she's a travel blogger who's afraid of flying. So, she just Googles picturesque landscapes, takes a selfie at her local park, and voila! #WanderlustReality #BackyardAdventures #FakeItTillYouMakeIt.

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