20 Jokes For Snake Bite

Puns

Updated on: Aug 09 2024

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My pet snake wants to be an actor. It's practicing its lines – they're all hiss-terical!
What's a snake's favorite subject in school? Hisstory!
What do you get if you cross a snake and a dessert? A hiss-ter cone!
Why was the snake so good at baseball? It knew how to hit a hiss-ter!
What's a snake's favorite dance? The mamba!
I asked the snake if it wanted a job. It said, 'Sure, I'd love to work in s-s-sales!
Why did the snake go to school? It wanted to learn to hiss-tory!
Why don't snakes ever argue with each other? They always hiss and make up!
I asked the snake if it wanted to grab a drink. It replied, 'Sure, but I prefer s-s-soda!
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon!

Snakes and Job Interviews

Getting bitten by a snake is a lot like a job interview. It happens when you least expect it, it hurts like hell, and you're left wondering if you'll ever recover. But hey, at least with the snake, you get a cool scar to impress people.

Snake Bite and Social Distancing

You know, getting a snake bite is probably the only time social distancing is universally accepted. I got bitten, and suddenly everyone was like, Yep, six feet away, please. We're not risking venomous hugs here!

Snake Bite Survival Kit Upgrade

I asked my friend for a snake bite survival kit, and he hands me a bag of ice and a DVD of Snakes on a Plane. I'm thinking, Is Samuel L. Jackson going to scare the venom out of me?

Snake Bite and the EpiPen Dilemma

I asked the doctor if there's an EpiPen for snake bites. He said, No, but we have antivenom. I'm thinking, Antivenom? That's just a fancy word for snake insurance. Do I need a deductible?

Snake Bites and Grandparents' Wisdom

My grandpa once told me that getting bitten by a snake builds character. So, I'm thinking, Grandpa, do you have any other character-building exercises that don't involve fangs and venom?

Snake Bites and Career Choices

I once considered a career as a snake charmer. Then I got bitten. Now I'm thinking, maybe I'll stick to something safer, like lion taming or tightrope walking over a pit of hungry crocodiles. At least they don't have fangs!

Snake Bite First Aid: Tequila and a Trombone

I read somewhere that if you get bitten by a snake, you should drink tequila and play a trombone to counteract the venom. So now, I've got this emergency snake bite kit – a bottle of tequila and a trombone. I'm ready to party or survive, whichever comes first!

Snake Bite Rehab

I'm in snake bite rehab now. They've got support groups for everything. I walk in, and they're like, Hi, I'm Dave, and I got bit by a rattlesnake. And I'm there like, Hi, Dave. I'm Steve, and I got bit by a snake named Reginald. We're on a first-name basis.

Snake Bites and Unwanted Surprises

Getting bitten by a snake is like opening a surprise package from the universe. You're excited, curious, and then suddenly, you're screaming, Who ordered this? Send it back!

Snake Bites and the Dating Scene

Dating is like getting bitten by a snake. At first, it's all exciting and exotic, but then reality hits, and you're left dealing with the venomous consequences. And just like a snake bite, sometimes a good story is the only thing you walk away with.

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