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Why did Slim Shady become a tailor? Because he wanted to stitch together some rap-tastic outfits!
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Slim Shady tried to become a magician, but his disappearing act was too Eminem-barrassing!
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Why did Slim Shady become a chef? Because he wanted to be a rap-sody in the kitchen!
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Slim Shady tried to become an astronaut, but he couldn't handle the zero gravity of the slim atmosphere!
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Why did Slim Shady become a banker? Because he wanted to make some rap-interest!
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Slim Shady tried to start a landscaping business, but it didn't work out. Turns out, he couldn't handle the shady business!
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Why did Slim Shady become a gardener? Because he wanted to show off his rap-ture of the greens!
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Slim Shady tried to become a gardener, but he couldn't handle the rapsberries!
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Slim Shady started a fashion line, but it was a flop. Turns out, he couldn't handle the slim margins!
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Why did Slim Shady get a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to roll in the dough!
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Why did Slim Shady become a detective? Because he wanted to solve the mystery of the slimy beats!
Slim Shady's Superpower
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I think Slim Shady's superpower is making alter egos. I tried it, but all I got was Awkward Steve who just stands in the corner at parties talking about my social anxieties.
Slim Shady's Horror Movie
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Imagine Slim Shady starring in a horror movie. It'd be like, He's climbing in your windows, he's snatching your people up, trying to rap them so y'all need to hide your lyrics, hide your beats, hide your hooks cause he's rapping everybody out here.
Slim Shady's GPS
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You ever notice how Slim Shady must have the most confused GPS ever? It's like, Turn left at the next intersection, unless you want to lose yourself in the music, the moment you own it, you better never let it go... then, make a U-turn if you change your mind!
Slim Shady's Cookbook
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I heard Slim Shady wrote a cookbook. Yeah, it's called Mom's Spaghetti: The Ultimate Guide to Cooking with Attitude. But the secret ingredient is always missing because he loses it in the music.
Slim Shady's Shopping Spree
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Slim Shady goes grocery shopping like, His palms are sweaty, knees weak, cart is heavy, there's Vomit on his shopping list already, mom's spaghetti. And that's just the produce section.
Slim Shady's Pet Peeve
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Slim Shady's pet peeve is when someone tells him to stand up. He's like, I am standing up, but my alter ego Slim's sitting down... it's complicated, just roll with it.
Slim Shady's Karaoke Night
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Slim Shady at karaoke is wild. He's like, His palms are sweaty, knees weak, mic is heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti. And you thought your rendition of 'Sweet Caroline' was intense.
Slim Shady's Workout Plan
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I tried Slim Shady's workout plan. It's intense. It goes like this: Lose yourself in the gym, throw up some mom's spaghetti, and if you can still stand, you're doing it wrong.
Slim Shady's Therapy Session
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Slim Shady went to therapy. The therapist asked, How does that make you feel? and he replied, Well doc, sometimes I feel like a criminal, but also like I'm cleaning out my closet. It's complicated.
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