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In senior living, they say the early bird catches the worm. But let's be honest, the early bird is just trying to avoid the lunch rush at 4 p.m. We eat dinner when the rest of the world is thinking about breakfast.
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You know you're in a senior living community when "Netflix and chill" means enjoying a documentary about the good old days and maybe sharing a bag of Werther's Originals.
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The elevator in a senior living building is like a time machine. It moves slower than the plot of a soap opera, but at least you have plenty of time to exchange life stories with your fellow passengers.
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Senior living exercise classes are something else. It's not so much about getting fit as it is about ensuring you can still reach the top shelf for those precious snacks. Priorities, people!
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The most competitive sport in senior living has to be finding your glasses. It's like a daily treasure hunt, but the prize is being able to see what you're doing.
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Senior living facilities are like exclusive clubs. Instead of a bouncer at the door, they have a nurse checking your blood pressure. If your systolic is too high, sorry, no entry to the early bird special tonight.
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You know you're in a senior living community when the highlight of your day is beating your neighbor at a game of bingo. It's not just a game; it's a full-contact sport for the retirement crowd.
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The speed at which senior citizens can navigate a grocery store scooter is truly impressive. It's like watching a NASCAR race, but with more turn signals and fewer pit stops.
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In senior living, the thermostat is a battleground. It's either a tropical paradise or the frozen tundra, depending on who got control of the common room that day. It's not global warming; it's just a heated debate among retirees.
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