5 Jokes For Rosary

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jun 28 2024

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The Forgetful Confessor

Forgetting the sins during confession and relying on the rosary for divine memory
Forgetful during confession, I started using my rosary like a cheat sheet. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Three Hail Marys for that time I ate the last cookie. Oh, and two Our Fathers for stealing my roommate's Netflix password.

The DIY Devotee

Making a homemade rosary and dealing with the consequences
Tried making a rosary with glow-in-the-dark beads. Nighttime prayers were lit, literally. I felt like a spiritual rave was happening in my hands.

The Fashion-Conscious Believer

Trying to match the rosary beads with the outfit
I want to be right with God, but I also want to be Instagram-ready. Now, I spend more time picking my rosary than actually saying my prayers. Priorities, right?

The Tech-Savvy Worshipper

Upgrading from a traditional rosary to a smart rosary
My rosary is so advanced; it has predictive prayer suggestions. I start with a 'Hail Mary,' and it's like, "Based on your recent sins, you might want to throw in an extra 'Our Father.'

The Forgetful Devotee

Constantly forgetting prayers and losing the rosary beads
My rosary is like a puzzle missing pieces. I'm praying and suddenly, I feel like I'm negotiating with a higher power in a bargain bin. "Alright, two Hail Marys and a 'Our Father'—deal?

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