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You know a book is from the 1940s when the romantic climax is a stolen glance and a firm handshake. Ah, the good old days when a sultry gaze was considered scandalous.
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I tried to impress my date by reading a 1940s book. She said, "Wow, you really know how to show a girl a good time. Next, are we going to churn butter and ride horses to the soda shop?
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You ever read a 1940s book and realize they describe a text message as sending a letter? "Just sent a letter to Betsy. Hope she gets it before the war ends.
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Reading a 1940s book is like entering a time machine, except instead of flashing lights and cool sound effects, you get the scent of mothballs and a reminder that people used to consider a rotary phone cutting-edge technology.
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I found a book from the 1940s the other day. It was so old, the dust on it had its own retirement plan. I opened it, and the pages were like, "Back in my day, we didn't have hyperlinks; we had hyper-slow page turns!
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You know you're getting old when you go to a retirement party, and instead of pinning the tail on the donkey, they're pinning the medic alert bracelet on Grandma.
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Retirement parties are the only place where "living it up" means having dinner at 4 PM, hitting the hay by 8 PM, and waking up at the crack of dawn to yell at the neighbor's cat for being too loud.
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I was at a retirement party the other day, and they had this massive cake with the retiree's face on it. I thought, "Is this a celebration or a warning to the cake decorator that their pension might be next?
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I found a 1940s self-help book. The advice was so outdated; it was like, "To achieve happiness, smoke a pipe, wear a hat at all times, and speak in Morse code. Works every time!
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