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You ever think you've found the perfect subreddit, only to realize you're completely out of your element? I joined a cooking subreddit because I wanted to up my culinary game. Big mistake. These people were discussing the molecular gastronomy of soufflés and debating the merits of truffle oil like it was a matter of national security. I posted a picture of my attempt at scrambled eggs, thinking I'd get some tips. Instead, I got roasted like my eggs. "Are those even eggs?" someone commented. I thought I was on a cooking subreddit, not a Michelin-star chef convention.
And then there are those subreddits with names that sound innocent but are anything but. I joined one called "Eyebleach," thinking it was about cute animals to cleanse your eyes. Turns out, it's more like "mind bleach" because it's filled with pictures you can't unsee. Thanks for the trauma, Reddit.
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You ever find yourself on Reddit, scrolling through posts, and suddenly you wake up three hours later, disoriented, like you've just been on a trip to the Twilight Zone? I swear, Reddit is like a black hole for productivity. You go in looking for a quick answer, and next thing you know, you're in a heated debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. I posted a question the other day, asking for advice on buying a new phone. Simple enough, right? Oh boy, within minutes, it turned into a full-fledged war between Android and iPhone fanatics. I felt like I accidentally stepped into the middle of a gang fight, waving my Samsung like a peace flag.
And don't get me started on those subreddits with conspiracy theories. I stumbled upon one about time travelers among us. They were arguing over whether that one guy who always predicts football game scores is actually a visitor from the future or just really lucky. I mean, come on, if time travelers are real, can one of them please go back and stop me from downloading Reddit in the first place?
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You ever pour your heart and soul into a post, thinking it's the funniest thing ever, and then you refresh the page every 10 seconds, waiting for those upvotes to roll in? It's like a sick game of validation chicken. You start questioning your entire existence after five minutes with no upvotes. I posted a joke the other day, thinking I was a comedic genius. It got one upvote. One! I bet that was just a pity upvote from my mom. Thanks, Mom, but I need more than your sympathy to boost my self-esteem. I imagine her sitting there with a cup of tea, thinking, "Bless his heart, he tried."
And then there's the downvotes. You know you've hit a nerve when people take the time to downvote your post. It's like a virtual slap in the face. I posted a picture of my cat, and someone downvoted it. Who hates cats? I mean, I get it if you're a dog person, but downvoting a cat picture? That's just cold.
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You ever make a post, and within seconds, you get hit with comments from the grammar police? They swoop in like vultures, circling your post, just waiting for the opportunity to pounce on a misplaced comma or a misspelled word. I posted a funny story about my dog, and instead of laughing, someone commented, "It's 'you're,' not 'your' dog." Really? You couldn't just enjoy the story? Now I'm over here, feeling like a criminal who just got busted for a grammar felony.
And the worst part is when they correct your grammar, but they make a mistake themselves. It's like, congratulations, you played yourself. I want to reply, "Nice try, Sherlock, but maybe invest in a grammar book before you come at me with your red pen.
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