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Relationships are all about compromise. For example, my boyfriend compromises by letting me pick the movie, and I compromise by letting him think he picked the restaurant. It's a delicate dance of illusion and Netflix.
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You know you're dating someone special when they can turn a mundane trip to the grocery store into an epic quest. Suddenly, choosing between paper and plastic becomes a life-altering decision.
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I asked my boyfriend to define the word "commitment," and he said, "It's like when you promise not to eat the last slice of pizza." Ah, the priorities of love – keeping that last slice safe and sound.
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Can we talk about how boyfriends have a Ph.D. in leaving things around the house? I mean, I love surprises, but finding socks in the fridge is not exactly the surprise I had in mind.
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Ladies, have you ever tried to share a bathroom with your boyfriend? It's like a battle between good and evil – the toilet seat constantly flipping up and down. It's a never-ending game of seat roulette.
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My boyfriend claims he's an excellent multitasker. I asked him to prove it, so now he's watching TV, playing video games, and pretending to listen to me all at the same time. I've never seen such dedication to doing absolutely nothing.
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You know you're in a long-term relationship when your boyfriend has a side of the bed, a side of the couch, and a side of the argument. I swear, it's like living with a territorial penguin.
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My boyfriend thinks he's a mind reader. He'll stare at me for minutes, and then confidently say, "I know what you're thinking." Buddy, if you really knew what I was thinking, you'd be running to buy me chocolate and a spa day.
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Being in a relationship is like having a constant debate about the thermostat. It doesn't matter if it's winter or summer – one of you is always too hot, and the other is freezing. Forget compromise; it's survival of the temperature fittest.
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