bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You ever notice how in the modern world, everyone's always yelling? I mean, seriously, we've got so many ways to communicate now, but it's like people have forgotten about the existence of their indoor voices. It's not just the kids, it's not just the adults, it's everyone! I was on the bus the other day, and there's this guy on his phone just yelling away. I thought he was mad at someone, but no, he's just ordering a pizza. "I WANT PEPPERONI, EXTRA CHEESE!" Dude, it's not a hostage negotiation, it's a pizza order!
And then there's social media. People don't just comment anymore; they YELL in all caps. It's like they think the louder they type, the more right they are. "THE WEATHER SUCKS TODAY!" Yeah, Karen, we can see that. No need to shout about it.
Maybe we all need a universal remote control for life that comes with a volume button. You know, just turn people down when they start getting too loud. Problem solved.
0
0
Let's talk about watching sports on TV. Why is it that when our favorite team is losing, we think screaming at the television will somehow change the outcome? "NO, REF, ARE YOU BLIND?!" Yeah, because the referee can totally hear you through the screen. And then there's the news. People yell at the news like the anchors can see them. "THAT'S NOT TRUE! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Trust me, Deborah, your TV isn't equipped with mind-reading technology.
Maybe we should have a disclaimer before every show: "Yelling at the TV has been proven to have zero impact on the events occurring on-screen. Proceed with caution and a functioning mute button.
0
0
Traffic is the one place where everyone becomes a vocal virtuoso. You're stuck in a sea of brake lights, and suddenly, everyone's an opera singer. Honking, yelling, road rage karaoke – it's a symphony of frustration. And the worst part is, no one can hear you! You're screaming inside your car, thinking you're delivering an Oscar-worthy monologue, and the guy in the car next to you is just jamming out to his favorite song, completely oblivious to your performance.
I've seen people yell at traffic lights, as if the red light personally offended them. "COME ON, TURN GREEN!" Buddy, it's a traffic light, not your therapist. It's not here to validate your feelings.
0
0
Why is it that whenever our devices don't work, we think yelling at them will magically fix everything? Like, when your Wi-Fi is acting up, do you really believe shouting, "COME ON, INTERNET!" is going to make it cooperate? I tried that once, and all I got was a blank stare from my router. And don't get me started on voice-activated assistants. They claim to understand natural language, but the moment I ask Siri a question, she acts like I'm speaking Klingon. "Siri, where's the nearest coffee shop?" And she replies, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." Really? I might as well start yelling at a brick wall.
I imagine one day these devices will retaliate. You yell at your phone, and it fires back with, "Maybe if you enunciated better, I'd understand you!" I can't wait for the day my toaster talks back. "You burn my toast one more time, and I'll toast your entire kitchen!
Post a Comment