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I told my dog he's not allowed on the couch. Now he pretends the floor is lava.
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I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough. Now I'm a banker because I kneaded money!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, unlike my jokes!
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I asked my cat if he believes in aliens. He gave me a look that said, 'Dude, I've been to space.
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