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I wonder why we ask someone, "Are you asleep?" when they're clearly sleeping. What do we expect them to say? "No, I'm just practicing my statue impression with my eyes closed.
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Have you ever noticed that the fastest way to clean your room is to invite someone over? Suddenly, you become a superhero of tidiness. "Look at me, I live like this all the time!
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Ever notice how the first slice of bread is like the sacrificial offering? No one wants it. It's just there to make the other slices feel more loved.
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You ever wonder why socks disappear in the laundry? It's like there's a secret sock society plotting against us. "Quick, everyone, hide when they're not looking!
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Why is it that the person who snores the loudest always falls asleep first? It's like they're claiming their territory, saying, "I'm taking over the bedroom soundscape, folks!
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I always wonder why we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are weak. It's like, "Come on, just one more click, you can do it!
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Have you ever wondered why we say, "It's not rocket science" when explaining something simple? I mean, has anyone tried explaining rocket science? Maybe it's not that complicated compared to assembling IKEA furniture!
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Have you ever wondered why we apologize to inanimate objects? I bumped into the coffee table and said, "Sorry." I mean, who am I kidding? The coffee table doesn't have feelings!
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I wonder why we have a "door close" button in elevators when it rarely does anything. It's more like a placebo button for our impatience. "I pressed it; that should speed things up, right?
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