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Have you ever noticed that the loading screen tips in video games are like life advice from a really impatient guru? "Patience is a virtue, but pressing A repeatedly can also speed things up!
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Playing video games with friends is like planning a heist. You spend hours strategizing, only to have someone mess it up in the first five minutes. "Dude, I told you not to alert the guards!
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Isn't it funny how we scream at our screens when we lose in a video game, as if our virtual character can hear us? "Come on, you pixelated warrior, get it together! Do it for all of us sitting on the couch!
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about the character customization screen in a video game, not for the cool outfits, but for the option to give them sensible insurance and a 401(k). "This hero's retirement plan is legendary!
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Video game characters have the most amazing stamina. I mean, I can barely climb a flight of stairs without losing my breath, but my character can sprint through a virtual world for hours. Maybe I should start a fitness routine in Skyrim.
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I love how in video games, the non-playable characters have the most absurd daily routines. "I'm sorry, sir, I can't save the world right now. It's my turn to sweep the same patch of floor for the hundredth time.
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In video games, the hero always finds the most incredible items in random crates and barrels. Meanwhile, I open my kitchen cabinets hoping for snacks, but all I find is disappointment and expired canned soup.
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Why do video game characters never need to use the bathroom? I mean, they can save the world, but they can't spare a few seconds for a bathroom break? No wonder they look so serious all the time.
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The graphics in video games are so realistic now that sometimes I think the pizza delivery guy is a side quest, and I'm about to unlock the achievement for tipping generously.
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