20 Valentine&#39 Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jun 24 2024

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What did one cupcake say to the other? 'You're the frosting on my life!
Why did the computer send a Valentine? It couldn't resist its byte-sized crush!
What did one French toast say to the other on Valentine's Day? 'You make my heart go 'melt'!
What's a vampire's favorite love story? A blood-curdling romance!
Why did the Valentine's Day card apply for a loan? It wanted to raise its interest!
Why did the Valentine's Day tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why did the Valentine card apply for a job? It wanted to work in the 'heart' department!
What did one Valentine say to the other? 'We're mint for each other!
Why did the smartphone break up with its charger on Valentine's Day? It needed space!
What did the boy candy say to the girl candy? 'You're sweet enough for me!
You know you're single on Valentine's Day when your mailbox has more cobwebs than love letters. I tried sending myself a card once, but even that got returned for lack of postage – turns out, self-love comes at a price!
I asked my date what she wanted for Valentine's Day, and she said, 'Surprise me!' So, I showed up with a singing telegram dressed as a gorilla. Apparently, that wasn't the surprise she had in mind. Who knew gorillas weren't synonymous with romance?
Valentine's Day is like a romantic episode of 'Survivor.' You're trying to avoid being voted off the island of love. Roses are immunity idols, and chocolate is the hidden advantage. The only tribal council I want involves candles and a table for two.
Valentine's Day gift-giving is a high-stakes game. I once got my partner a 'self-improvement' book. Turns out, 'How to Fix Your Partner in 30 Days' wasn't the uplifting read she had in mind. Who knew love wasn't something you could fix with a step-by-step guide?
Valentine's Day is like a pop quiz for relationships. If you forget it, it's not just a red flag; it's a full-blown firework display of relationship doom. I'm here thinking, can't we just have a cheat day like we do with diets?
Valentine's Day expectations are like setting yourself up for disappointment on sale. It's like thinking you're getting a luxury cruise, but when you board, it's just a dinghy with a heart-shaped paddle. Love floats, right?
Valentine's Day cards are just a way for greeting card companies to make you feel guilty for not expressing your love through a $5 piece of folded paper. If I wanted to spend money on expressing emotions, I'd buy a mood ring – at least that changes color.
Valentine's Day, or as I like to call it, the annual reminder that my relationship status has more updates than my software. If only love came with a 'bug fix' patch!
Valentine's Day is the one day a year when everyone becomes a poet. I tried my hand at writing a love poem, but it turned out more like a grocery list. Roses are red, violets are blue, here's a coupon for 10% off at the local supermarket – love, me.
Valentine's Day dinner reservations are harder to secure than a ticket to the moon. I tried to book a table last year, and they told me the only available time was during the next leap year. Looks like love is in the air, but my dinner plans are stuck on the ground.

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