4 Jokes For They Said

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 23 2024

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You know, they said I couldn't cook. They said, "Stay away from the kitchen; you're a danger to yourself and others." Well, I recently tried making scrambled eggs. It was an epic battle between me and the eggs. I cracked them open, and they stared back at me like, "Are you sure about this?" I said, "Absolutely."
I turned on the stove, and it was like a tiny dragon breathing fire. I tossed the eggs in, and they sizzled like they were auditioning for a cooking show. When I served them, my friend said, "Is this a new recipe? Scrambled or scared eggs?" They said I couldn't cook, but I turned that kitchen into a battlefield, and the eggs were my casualties.
They said I couldn't speak French, so I decided to learn. I went to a French restaurant and tried ordering in my newly acquired language. The waiter looked at me like I was reciting alien code. I confidently said, "Je voudrais un hamburger, s'il vous plaît." The waiter chuckled and brought me the fanciest burger I've ever seen.
I asked, "Is this how they serve burgers in France?" He replied, "No, but your French was so entertaining; we wanted to match it with something special." They said I couldn't speak French, but I turned that language barrier into a bilingual comedy show.
So, they said I couldn't dance. I went to a party, and everyone was tearing up the dance floor. I thought, "I can do this!" I hit the dance floor like a tornado in a china shop. My moves were so unique; I called them the "confused chicken."
People were giving me weird looks, and someone even shouted, "Are you okay?" I said, "I'm dancing, not having a medical emergency!" They said I couldn't dance, but I transformed that dance floor into a comedy stage, and my moves had everyone laughing.
You know, they said I couldn't do it yourself, but I decided to prove them wrong. I took on a simple DIY project: assembling a bookshelf. The instructions seemed straightforward, like they were written by a mathematician from Mars. I started putting the pieces together, and it was like playing a 3D puzzle designed by a mad scientist.
Halfway through, I realized I had a few extra screws. I thought, "Oh, they must be spare parts." When I stood back to admire my creation, the bookshelf looked like modern art, a unique expression of chaos. They said I couldn't DIY, but I turned that project into a masterpiece of abstract furniture.

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