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Why did the computer apply to be a guest on the tonight show? It wanted to meet its byte-sized audience!
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Why did the pencil get invited to the tonight show? It had a great point!
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Why did the comedian bring a ladder to the tonight show? Because he wanted to take his jokes to the next level!
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What's a comedian's favorite kind of math on the tonight show? and equations!
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Why did the tomato turn red during the tonight show? It saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the coffee go on the tonight show? It wanted to espresso itself!
The Tonight Show
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I did The Tonight Show and had to follow a viral cat video they showed before my segment. I thought, Great, I have to compete with a cat that can play the piano. How do you follow that? Do I meow my punchlines? Should I bring a litter box on stage for added effect?
The Tonight Show
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I was backstage at The Tonight Show, and I saw the lineup of guests. There was a famous chef, a bestselling author, and then me—the guy who once burned spaghetti and writes tweets with only one like. I thought, Am I here to provide comic relief, or am I the culinary disaster they're all talking about?
The Tonight Show
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Being on The Tonight Show is like being in a relationship. Before you go on, everyone's telling you how amazing it's going to be. Then, you're on stage, and you realize you have a limited time to impress, and you're desperately hoping they laugh at your jokes, or at least fake it so you don't feel rejected.
The Tonight Show
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I was on The Tonight Show, and Jimmy Fallon complimented my outfit. I was thrilled until I realized I was wearing the same suit I wore to my cousin's wedding three years ago. Now I'm thinking, Is this my lucky suit, or do I just not have a sense of style?
The Tonight Show
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Backstage at The Tonight Show, they have a wall of celebrity autographs. I wanted to leave my mark, so I signed it too. The security guard caught me and said, Sir, that's not your wall. I replied, Well, I thought I was supposed to leave a lasting impression!
The Tonight Show
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Being on The Tonight Show is like winning a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. You're excited, you meet interesting characters, and by the end, you hope you didn't make a fool of yourself on national TV. But instead of chocolate rivers, there's just the fear of awkward silence.
The Tonight Show
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I did The Tonight Show last week, and the green room was fancier than my entire apartment. I walked in, and there were snacks everywhere. I felt like I was in a culinary episode of Cribs. I almost asked the producer if I could take a couple of mini muffins home as a performance fee.
The Tonight Show
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They say The Tonight Show is a great opportunity, but it's also a test of endurance. You have to be funny, charming, and avoid tripping on the stage. It's like a game of multitasking, and if you fail, you end up as a viral blooper on YouTube with the title, Comedian Faceplants on National TV.
The Tonight Show
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Being on The Tonight Show is like being on a rollercoaster. You're excited, nervous, and you hope you don't throw up. And just like a rollercoaster, it's over way too fast, and you're left wondering, Did I scream too much, or not enough?
The Tonight Show
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You know, I was invited to appear on The Tonight Show recently. I thought, Wow, I've finally made it! But then I realized, they probably just needed someone to test the couch for comfort. Is this cushion too soft? Let's bring in the comedian, he's used to sitting in uncomfortable chairs at open mics!
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