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Teasing someone for being a morning person is so 2020. Now, it's all about, "Oh, you're still using an alarm clock? How cute! I wake up to my smart home assistant playing motivational speeches and brewing artisanal coffee. No big deal.
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Teasing has evolved. Back in the day, it was harmless banter. Now, with smartphones, it's a whole new level. "Bro, remember that embarrassing thing you did five years ago? Well, here it is in HD, courtesy of Facebook memories!
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Let's talk about self-checkout machines at the grocery store. They're like that friend who insists they're fine but still needs your help opening a jar. "Please place the item in the bagging area." Listen, machine, I'm doing my best; can we chill?
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Why is it that the elevator door closes at the speed of light when you're rushing to catch it, but when you're holding the door for someone, it's slower than a sloth with a Netflix subscription? Elevator, are you testing my patience?
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Isn't it funny how we all become instant mathematicians when it comes to splitting the bill at a restaurant? "Well, I had the salad, so I owe this much, and you had the steak, so you owe that much." We need a bill-splitting app ASAP.
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Ever notice how we pretend to understand the complexities of a new gadget in front of salespeople? "Yes, yes, I see. It has a quantum processor and a hyperfusion display. I'll take it." As soon as we leave, it's the blind leading the blind.
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Teasing yourself for not remembering where you put your keys is a daily ritual. It's like our brains play hide-and-seek, but they're really committed to winning. "Keys, keys, where are you?" Brain: "Oh, you meant those keys? Silly me!
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Let's talk about the microwave. It's the ultimate time-travel device. You put something in for 60 seconds, and suddenly it's next week. Bonus points if you forget about it, and it becomes a surprise dinner a day later.
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You ever notice how when you're trying to be quiet, like in a library or during a meeting, your stomach decides it's the perfect time to unleash its inner DJ? I mean, seriously, can we get a mute button for the digestive system?
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