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Joke Types
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Why did the tarantula start a gardening business? It wanted to spin some green thumbs!
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Why did the tarantula start a band? Because it wanted to spin some tracks!
Tarantula Therapy Session
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To bond with my tarantula, I tried to share my deepest fears with it. It just stared at me like, You're scared of what? Taxes? I realized my tarantula has a Ph.D. in arachnology and a minor in judging human irrational fears. I left the therapy session more confused than ever.
Arachno-Phobia-phobia
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I told my friend I have a tarantula, and they freaked out. I said, Relax, it's more scared of you than you are of it. Now my friend is in therapy, not for arachnophobia but for developing a fear of people who own tarantulas. I guess I have a case of arachno-phobia-phobia on my hands.
Arachno-romance
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I set up a Tinder profile for my tarantula. It described itself as eight legs, looking for love. It swiped right on a cricket, but the date didn't go well. Apparently, my tarantula is more interested in the chase than the actual catch. It's like a love story written by Charlotte from Charlotte's Web after too many espressos.
Arachnid Art Critic
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I showed my tarantula a Picasso painting. It gave me a look that said, Eight eyes and I still can't understand this abstract nonsense. I realized I have the only tarantula in town with a sophisticated taste in art. Now I'm thinking of taking it to the museum – I just hope it doesn't start critiquing the spider exhibits.
Eight-Eyed Therapist
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I tried talking to my tarantula about my problems, thinking it could be my eight-legged therapist. Turns out, it's not the best listener. It just sits there, judging me with those eight eyes. I said, Come on, give me some advice! It responded by flicking a leg hair at me. I think it's suggesting I get a wax.
Tarantula Tango
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You ever find a tarantula in your house? It's like discovering your place has a secret dance party, and the tarantula is the creepy DJ spinning webs. I walked in on mine doing the Tarantula Tango – eight legs, zero rhythm. I tried joining in, but I'm pretty sure my dance moves scared it away. Now I've got an arachnophobic spider on my hands.
Spider Spa Day
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I caught my tarantula in the bathroom once, and I swear it was trying to take a spa day. It had its legs up on the edge of the sink, using the faucet like a waterfall. I asked if it wanted a face mask, but it just stared at me with those eight eyes. Now I'm worried I've given my tarantula unrealistic beauty standards.
Arachnid Roommates
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Having a tarantula is like having a roommate who never pays rent and insists on hanging out in the shower. I asked it to contribute to utilities, but all it did was shed some extra legs. I told my friends, I live with a tarantula, and they were impressed, thinking it was some exotic pet. Little do they know, my roommate's idea of a good time is binge-watching Spider-Man movies.
Spider Fashionista
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Caught my tarantula trying on my socks. I said, What are you doing? It looked at me like, Don't judge my fashion choices! Now, I can't tell if it's shedding or if it's just into DIY sock design. Next thing you know, it'll be on the cover of Arachnids Weekly, a fashion icon for spiders everywhere.
Web of Deception
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I found my tarantula weaving an intricate web in the corner. I asked, What are you doing? It said, Building my dream home. I didn't have the heart to tell it that my place is a rental. Now I'm just waiting for the landlord's call about unauthorized home improvement by a spider.
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