5 Jokes For Submit

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Aug 19 2024

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The Fitness Fanatic

Trying to resist the temptation of a cheat day
I bought a fitness tracker to count my steps. Turns out, it doesn't count the steps to the fridge. It's biased against my snacking habits. I've taken more steps to the kitchen than I have on my treadmill. At this rate, I should have buns of steel from all those trips to the oven.

The Coffee Addict

When the coffee machine is out of order at work
I asked the IT guy to fix the coffee machine because, let's face it, he doesn't fix anything else. He took one look at it and said, "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Buddy, this is a coffee machine, not my will to live.

The Pet Lover

Dealing with a mischievous pet
I bought my dog a squeaky toy, thinking it would be cute. Now, it's a 3 AM symphony of squeaks. I love him, but if he doesn't learn to appreciate silence, I might have to introduce him to the concept of "sleeping in the backyard.

The Procrastinator

Racing against time to meet a deadline
My friend said, "The early bird catches the worm." I replied, "Well, the second mouse gets the cheese." There are two types of people in this world: those who wake up early and those who make breakfast at midnight because they forgot to eat all day.

The Tech-Challenged Parent

Teaching kids about online safety
I caught my kid trying to outsmart the parental controls. He searched, "How to hack dad's password." I'm thinking, "Buddy, if you figure that out, I'll give you the Wi-Fi password as a reward.

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