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I was at a strip club the other day, and they had this neon sign that said, "Ladies Night: Free Entry!" I thought, well, that's a great deal! But then I realized it's basically an offer saying, "Hey, ladies, come watch other ladies get naked for free. You're welcome!
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You ever notice how strip clubs always have the most creative names? It's like they pick words out of a hat. "Sensual Kaleidoscope Cabaret" – I didn't know whether to expect a dance or a PowerPoint presentation.
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You know you're getting older when you go to a strip club, and instead of thinking, "Wow, those dancers are so hot," you're thinking, "I hope they have good lumbar support. All that twerking can't be good for their backs.
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The other day, I saw a sign that said, "Gentlemen's Club: Now Hiring." I thought, "What's the job interview like? 'Can you twirl around a pole without falling over? Great, you're hired!'
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You ever notice how the music at strip clubs is always so... enthusiastic? It's like they're trying to convince you that what's happening on stage is the most incredible thing you've ever seen. "No, seriously, this is the best rendition of 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' you'll ever witness!
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There's always that one guy at a strip club who's trying to act cool, like he's seen it all. But you can tell he's just there to avoid his laundry responsibilities. "Honey, I'd help with the dishes, but I've got this urgent meeting at the...uh, gentleman's club.
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I tried pole dancing once. Emphasis on "tried." I looked more like a confused firefighter trying to slide down the pole. I've never seen a pole so disappointed in its career choice.
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You ever notice how there's this unspoken rule when you're at a strip club? It's like, you can look, but you can't touch. It's the only place where you pay someone to tease you, and the bouncer's just waiting for you to forget that fact.
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I went to a strip mall the other day, and I realized it's the only place where you can leave feeling both satisfied and broke. I went in for toothpaste, but somehow I left with a massage chair and a ceramic garden gnome.
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I went to a strip club with a friend who claimed to be a "connoisseur" of the art form. He was giving critiques like it was a wine tasting. "Ah, yes, a subtle twirl in the second act, exquisite form. This dancer clearly trained in the prestigious academy of glitter and high heels.
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Inadvertently I m defending our heads and gestures they are still as we have dropped down