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You ever have a friend who's always late? I have a friend named Stevie, and he's on Stevie Standard Time. You tell him to be there at 7, and he strolls in at 8:30 like, "Fashionably late, my friend!
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Stevie is that person who insists on taking the scenic route when you're already running late. "Let's enjoy the journey," they say. Yeah, Stevie, but my boss won't appreciate the beauty of traffic when I show up an hour late.
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Stevie Wonder is a musical genius, right? But have you ever thought about how awkward it must be for him to play hide and seek? "Stevie, we're all hiding!" Well, except Stevie, he's just sitting there, smiling.
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Stevie is the reason I have trust issues with potluck dinners. You bring your homemade dish, and Stevie shows up with store-bought cookies, claiming he made them from scratch. Really, Stevie? The cookie factory is your kitchen?
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You know you're getting old when you remember Stevie Nicks as the singer, not just as a trending meme on social media. I'm waiting for the day when people say, "Who's that? Oh, she's the Stevie from those memes.
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You ever notice how everyone has a friend named Stevie? I mean, there's always that one Stevie in your life, and you're like, "Is it short for something? Or did his parents just decide, 'Nah, he's a Stevie.'
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Stevie is the guy who ruins magic tricks for everyone. You're trying to impress the crowd with your sleight of hand, and Stevie's in the back yelling, "I know how he did it! There's a trapdoor right there!" Thanks, Stevie, now the magic is gone.
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Stevie is that guy who never answers his phone but will send you a text saying, "Did you call?" No, Stevie, I sent you a singing telegram. Of course, I called!
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I've noticed that every workplace has a Stevie. That one colleague who microwaves fish in the office kitchen and thinks it's a good idea. Come on, Stevie, we're trying to work, not turn the breakroom into a seafood restaurant.
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