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Statisticians must throw the best parties. You can imagine the conversations: "Hey, did you hear about the exciting new correlation between dance moves and the probability of having a good time?
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Statisticians are like modern-day philosophers. They ponder the mysteries of life, like why there's a correlation between the number of selfies taken and the decline of world productivity.
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Have you ever noticed that statisticians are the only people who can look at a scatter plot and not immediately think, "Oh no, a bee is attacking my graph!"?
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Statisticians have this magical ability to turn any conversation into a probability distribution. You tell them you're feeling "meh," and suddenly they're calculating the likelihood of your mood improving over time.
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Statisticians are the real-life superheroes of probability. Instead of capes, they wear standard deviations, and instead of fighting crime, they battle against unreliable surveys and biased samples.
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Statisticians are like the wizards of the data world. They wave their statistical wands, mutter some magical incantations, and suddenly, your messy spreadsheet turns into a comprehensible spellbook.
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Statisticians probably have nightmares about data entry errors. In their dreams, they're chased by giant error bars, screaming, "Margin of terror!
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Statisticians must have incredible patience. I mean, they can stare at a spreadsheet for hours and not lose their minds. Meanwhile, I can't even handle buffering for more than five seconds on Netflix.
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Ever notice how statisticians never trust a single data point? I mean, come on, even my GPS trusts me more when I say, "No, seriously, take the next left.
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