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What did the stand-up comedian do when they ran out of jokes? They 'punched up' the audience with hilarious dance moves!
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I told my friend I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. He laughed. Well, nobody's laughing now as I'm standing up here!
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Why did the stand-up comedian become a musician? They wanted to add more 'puns' to their repertoire!
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What did the stand-up comedian say about procrastination? 'I'll tell you tomorrow!'
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What did the stand-up comedian say to the heckler? 'Your jokes are like expired calendars – they're dated!
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