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Soy Milk in the Fridge
The constant battle for refrigerator dominance
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My roommate and I have an unspoken agreement: I get the top shelf for my soy milk, and she gets the bottom shelf for her regular milk. It's a dairy hierarchy. I call it the lactose ladder, and the struggle for the summit is real.
Soy Milk in the Family Gathering
Navigating the family's skepticism
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Trying to explain the benefits of soy milk to your skeptical relatives is like convincing a cat to take a bath—impossible. "It's better for you, Aunt Karen! It's not a milk substitute; it's a lifestyle choice!" The family dinner turns into a soy intervention.
Soy Milk at the Coffee Shop
The quest for the perfect dairy-free latte
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Ordering soy milk at a coffee shop is an exercise in patience. The barista looks at you like you just asked for a unicorn sprinkled with fairy dust. "Soy milk? Are you sure you don't want a normal latte like the rest of the world?" Yes, Karen, I'm sure. I like my coffee woke and lactose-free.
Soy Milk in the Cereal Bowl
The cereal-soggy-time struggle
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I thought soy milk and cereal were a dream team, but they're more like a dysfunctional couple. You pour the soy milk, and the cereal starts sinking faster than my hopes and dreams after a Monday morning alarm. It's a cereal catastrophe.
Soy Milk at the Gym
The protein showdown
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The gym bros look at my soy milk like it's an alien substance. "Bro, do you even lift?" they ask. Yes, I lift—my soy milk to my lips for a refreshing sip of lactose-free gains. It's the soy-powered workout that the gym didn't see coming.
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