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Social media influencers and I have something in common – we both curate our lives. The difference is, they use Instagram, and I use my laundry basket to hide all the unfolded clothes before guests arrive.
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Social media influencers and I share a common struggle: trying to come up with captions. They're all poetic and deep, while I'm over here debating between "Eating tacos, brb" and "Tacos make me happy.
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Ever notice how social media influencers always have that one friend who's a "photographer"? My friends are "phoneographers" – they take pictures that look like they were snapped during a potato famine.
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Social media influencers have this amazing ability to make every meal look like a Michelin-star dining experience. Meanwhile, my dinner presentation resembles a food crime scene. "Tonight's masterpiece: Spaghetti with a side of regret.
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You ever notice that social media influencers have an entire photoshoot dedicated to their morning routine? My morning routine photos would consist of me trying to find matching socks while contemplating the meaning of snooze buttons.
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You know, social media influencers are like modern-day philosophers. Instead of deep thoughts, they share deep filters. "What is the meaning of life?" Well, let me add a Valencia filter and find out.
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Have you noticed that social media influencers can turn any mundane activity into an epic adventure? I tried their technique at the grocery store. Suddenly, picking out cereal became a heroic quest. "Brave warrior faces the dilemma of choosing between cornflakes and granola!
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Social media influencers have this talent for finding the perfect lighting everywhere. I'm over here, thinking my house has two settings: too bright and "Are we in a horror movie?" dark.
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I realized social media influencers have a special relationship with time. They can turn a 10-minute coffee break into a glamorous photoshoot. Meanwhile, my attempts to make a sandwich in under 30 minutes end in disappointment and crumbs.
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