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Have you ever tried to assemble IKEA furniture? It's like playing a real-life version of a puzzle where the pieces don't quite fit, and the instructions are just pictures of a smiling family, as if to say, "Good luck, you'll need it!
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I recently bought a blender with so many buttons, it's like preparing for a rocket launch every time I want a smoothie. I just wanted a margarita, not a degree in aerospace engineering!
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. It's like, "Look at the absorption capabilities on this thing! This sponge is going to change my life!
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You ever notice how the remote control disappears right when you're settled into the couch? It's like it has a secret life, only coming out to play when you're desperately searching for it during a commercial break.
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You ever notice how when you buy a new pair of socks, you feel like you've got your life together? Like, "Yeah, I might not have my finances in order, but check out these socks – they match!
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Ever notice how a pizza delivery guy can find your house in the middle of nowhere, but your GPS can't even locate your destination in the city? "Turn left where? Into a parallel universe?
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I love how they call it "fast food drive-thru," but you spend half your life waiting in line. It's more like a "sit patiently in your car and contemplate your life choices" lane.
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Why do we always buy more groceries than we can carry in one trip from the car to the kitchen? It's like we're training for the supermarket Olympics – trying to set a new world record in the 100-meter grocery haul.
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The amount of time we spend searching for something we misplaced is directly proportional to how important it is. "Where are my car keys?" Cue an hour-long search. "Where's my grocery list?" Oh well, I'll just wing it.
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