16 Jokes For Second Wife

Puns

Updated on: Jun 15 2024

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Why did the man get a second wife who was a baker? He wanted double the sweet moments in life!
What do you call someone with two wives who loves to cook? A poly-amorous chef!
My friend got a second wife who's a tailor. Now he has someone to mend his broken dreams!
What's the downside of having a second wife who's a librarian? She always knows when you've checked out!
What do you call someone with two wives who's also a magician? A poly-gician!
What's the advantage of having a second wife who's a gardener? Your love life will always be in full bloom!

The Marriage Loop

I told my second wife I wanted a marriage that would last forever. She took it literally and started reminding me of our anniversary every five minutes. It's like I got stuck in a time loop of expensive gifts and regret.

The Two-Timer's Tango

I recently learned that marriage is a lot like dancing. In my case, it's more like a two-timer's tango – one step forward, two lawyers back.

The Second Wife Chronicles

You know, they say the key to a successful marriage is communication. Well, my second wife must be fluent in Morse code because most of our conversations felt like I was deciphering a secret message from a submarine in the 1940s.

Second Wife's Revenge

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. Well, my second wife took it to a whole new level. She served it frozen, with a side of alimony and a garnish of bitter resentment. Bon appétit!

Two's Company, Three's a Second Wife

They say the first marriage is for love, the second is for experience, and the third is for insanity. I must be on the fast track to becoming a marital daredevil because here I am, collecting wives like they're Pokémon cards.

Ex-Wives Anonymous

I joined a support group for people who've been married multiple times. We call it Ex-Wives Anonymous. Our motto: Hi, I'm [Your Name], and I'm a serial monogamist. And yes, I've memorized the alimony laws in three different states.

The Ghost of Marriage Past

My second wife had a sixth sense – she could predict the future. Specifically, she predicted that our marriage wouldn't last. It's like having a psychic on retainer, but instead of winning the lottery numbers, she just kept saying, I told you so.

Second Time's the Harm

They say lightning never strikes the same place twice. Well, apparently, neither does marital bliss. Lightning might be less shocking than realizing you've made the same mistake twice.

Wife 2.0 Upgrade

Getting married again is like upgrading your phone. The first one is all shiny and new, but by the second, you're just hoping it doesn't explode in your face.

The Marital Remix

Marriage is like a song. The first time, it's a sweet melody. By the second time, it's a remix – the same tune with a different beat and a lot more baggage. I guess you could say I'm on the DJ Khaled plan of matrimony: Another one.

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