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Joke Types
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Why did the computer apply for a job at the search engine? It wanted a byte of the action!
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Why did the search engine break up with the calculator? It couldn't count on it!
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Why did the search engine break up with its algorithm? It couldn't find the right match!
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Why did the search engine break up with Google Maps? It couldn't handle the constant directions!
The Stalker Algorithm
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Ever feel like your search engine is stalking you? I searched for best pizza in town, and suddenly, every ad I see is about pizza. It's like my computer turned into a pizza detective, trying to crack the case of my favorite toppings. Spoiler alert: it's pepperoni.
The Rabbit Hole Effect
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You know you've fallen deep into the internet rabbit hole when you start with a simple search for healthy recipes and end up watching a documentary on the secret lives of garden gnomes. Thanks, search engine, for taking me on a journey I never knew I needed—a gnome-tastic adventure.
Search Engine Secrets
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Alright, so I recently discovered that my search engine knows me better than my therapist. I mean, I type in one little symptom, and suddenly it's diagnosing me with a rare disease, suggesting I join a support group, and offering me a 20% discount on life insurance. Slow down, Google! I just wanted to know why my knee was making that weird noise!
Predictive Text Problems
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My predictive text thinks it's a fortune teller. I typed, I'm going to the party, and it suggested, I'm going to the pharmacy. Yeah, because every good party starts with a trip to get cold medicine and band-aids. Thanks for the optimism, phone, but I'm not that clumsy!
Clickbait Conundrum
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You ever notice how clickbait titles are like bad pick-up lines? You won't believe what happens next! Well, spoiler alert, I usually believe it, click, and then spend the next 10 minutes of my life regretting my decisions. Thanks, clickbait, for making me question both my curiosity and life choices simultaneously.
Internet Psychic
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My search engine thinks it's psychic. I was about to type, What's the weather like today? and it predicted, You're going to ask about the weather. Wow, Google, you're like the Nostradamus of weather forecasts. I feel safer already.
Auto-Fill Follies
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Auto-fill, the feature that turns innocent searches into accidental confessions. I started typing, How to build a shelf, and it suggested, How to build a spaceship and escape Earth. Whoa, slow down, auto-fill, I just need more storage for my books, not an intergalactic exit strategy!
Search Engine Therapy
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I tried using my search engine for therapy. I typed, Why am I always tired? and it responded with, Maybe you should ask yourself why you're avoiding responsibilities. Thanks for the tough love, Google. I was hoping for a nap suggestion, but self-reflection works too, I guess.
Autocorrect Adventures
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Can we talk about autocorrect for a moment? I swear, my phone thinks it's a mind reader. I tried typing ducking, and it changed it to duckling. Yeah, because that's what I meant—I was having a deep conversation about waterfowl with my friend. Thanks, autocorrect, for turning me into an accidental bird enthusiast.
Lost in Translation
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Have you ever used a translation app and realized it's more like a comedy generator? I told my friend in French, I'll be there in 10 minutes, and it translated to I will arrive in the next decade. Thanks for making me sound like a time traveler, Google Translate. Time to invest in a DeLorean.
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