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Sawing something in half is like the grown-up version of tearing paper. Just a bit more dangerous and a lot more expensive. "Look, Mom, I can cut this phone book in half!" ...and there goes my security deposit.
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You ever notice how people become DIY experts as soon as they get a saw in their hands? "Yeah, I can totally build a house. Just give me a saw and some duct tape, and we're good to go!
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You ever notice that whenever you need a saw, you can never find one? It's like they're playing hide and seek in the tool shed. "Come on, saw, I need to cut this 2x4, stop hiding behind the rakes!
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Saws and relationships have something in common – if you don't handle them carefully, you might end up losing a finger. Lesson learned: always keep your fingers intact, and maybe invest in some relationship safety gear.
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I bought a fancy Japanese saw recently. It's so sharp; I think it even corrected my credit score. Now, that's what I call financial planning!
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I bought a new saw the other day, and the packaging said it could cut through anything. I took it home, tried it on my ex's drama, but turns out it's not that powerful. Guess I need a drama-resistant saw.
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Sawdust is like the glitter of the construction world. You use it once, and suddenly it's everywhere – in your hair, your clothes, your sandwich. I'm pretty sure I'm part lumberjack now.
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Have you ever noticed how the word "saw" sounds a lot like someone pretending to be a pirate with a speech impediment? "Arr, matey, I s-s-saw the treasure chest!
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I tried to impress my friends by juggling chainsaws once. They were not impressed. Apparently, juggling power tools is not as cool as it looks on TV. Who knew?
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