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I was thinking about the whole "sank" situation. Why do we say a ship "sank" when it goes underwater? I mean, did it forget to study for a test, and now it's just trying to avoid eye contact with the ocean? Shouldn't it be "sunk"? "Oh look, the ship sunk." Simple past tense, people. I imagine the ship trying to explain itself, like, "I didn't sink; I just had a momentary gravitational disagreement with the ocean floor." And we're all standing there, sipping our drinks, going, "Yeah, sure, tell it to Poseidon."
It's like ships have their own grammar rules. "Yeah, I was floating, then I sank, and now I'm at the bottom. Just ship things, you know?
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Hey, everybody! So, I was on this cruise recently, right? Beautiful ship, amazing views, the whole shebang. And then, out of nowhere, the ship hit something, and we all felt this massive jolt. It was like the ship decided to do the electric slide with a whale or something. I turn to the guy next to me, and I'm like, "What just happened?" And he looks at me dead serious and says, "We sank." I mean, really? We sank? Like it's a casual Wednesday afternoon activity. I don't know about you, but sinking was not on my itinerary for the day. I paid for a cruise, not a swim.
You know, they always talk about the safety measures, lifeboats, life jackets, all that stuff. But let's be real, if the ship is sinking, I don't want a life jacket; I want a refund! "Sorry, folks, the ship is going down, but here's a voucher for your next cruise." Yeah, no thanks. I'll take my chances with the floating door like in Titanic.
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Have you ever noticed that "sank" sounds like the past tense of something you'd do with a soda? "I drank the soda, and then I sank." It's like ships are just giant cans of cola, and the ocean is our carbonated demise. I can imagine someone in a restaurant saying, "Excuse me, waiter, my ship sank. Can I get a refund on my meal?" And the waiter's like, "Sir, this is a seafood restaurant, not a shipwreck refund center."
And what's with the nonchalant way people say it? "Oh yeah, the ship sank. No big deal." Really? Because I've dropped a French fry in my car, and that's enough to ruin my day. Imagine the ship being your ride; you'd be devastated.
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You know, they always say, "What goes up must come down." But with ships, it's more like, "What floats will eventually find its way to Davy Jones' locker." It's like the ocean has its own economy, and ships are just stocks that occasionally take a dive. I can picture ship investors checking the news like, "Oh, the Titanic? Yeah, it sank. Sell, sell, sell!" And then some guy is like, "No, no, it's just a dip. Buy the dip!" Next thing you know, they're all drowning in financial losses.
Maybe we should have ship insurance. "Did your ship sink? Call 1-800-FLOAT-NO-MORE for a sinking compensation claim." I can see the commercial now: "Don't let your maritime investments go under—get Sankurance today!
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