bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You know, I've reached that age where my phone's reminder feature is basically my external brain. I've got reminders for everything. But the thing is, my phone doesn't just remind me of important stuff; it also reminds me of stuff that makes me question my life choices. The other day, I got a reminder that said, "Don't forget to floss!" And I thought, "Really? You think I need a reminder for that? I may forget my keys, my wallet, my anniversary, but forgetting to floss is not a thing!"
And then there's the reminder about going to the gym. My phone has the audacity to say, "Time to hit the gym!" I look at it and go, "You know what? You're right, phone. But how about you hit the gym and I'll stay here and eat this pizza?"
I mean, we're living in a time where our phones are our life coaches, and let me tell you, my life coach is not doing a great job. I need a new one who understands that sometimes skipping the gym is an act of self-love and that flossing is a battle I've chosen not to fight.
0
0
I recently started using a digital calendar to keep my life organized. Now, the calendar's great; it tells me where I need to be and when. But the real challenge is understanding the different notification tones. I hear a beep, and I'm like, "Is that a meeting, a doctor's appointment, or did I set a reminder to drink water?" It's like deciphering Morse code every time my phone beeps.
And then there's the panic that sets in when you get a reminder for something you forgot about entirely. It's like, "Oh no, I committed to something at 2 PM, and I'm still in my pajamas!"
So, in conclusion, my calendar is basically my overlord, and I'm just a confused minion trying to make sense of the beeps and reminders. Life's a calendar, and I'm just trying not to miss the notifications.
0
0
You ever get those Facebook memories that pop up and remind you of what you were doing five years ago? Yeah, thanks for reminding me that I used to have a social life. I saw one the other day that said, "Five years ago, you were on a beach in Hawaii." And I'm thinking, "Well, five years ago, I wasn't dealing with a global pandemic, Facebook!"
And then there are the photos. I look at them and wonder, "Did I really wear that? Was that hairstyle a choice, or was I just going through a rebellious phase against my own fashion sense?"
But you know what's worse? When Facebook reminds you of a friend's birthday, and you're like, "Oops, I forgot. I hope they don't have Facebook.
0
0
You ever notice how making a grocery list feels like preparing for a war? I mean, I sit down, pen in hand, ready to strategize. The problem is, no matter how detailed my list is, I always end up in the cereal aisle questioning my life choices. I'll be staring at the wall of cereals, thinking, "Do I want the one with the extra fiber or the one with the cartoon character on the box?" It's like a cereal existential crisis.
And then there's the moment when you can't find something on your list. You're wandering around the store, looking lost, and people start giving you sympathetic looks. You want to tell them, "It's not me; it's the list! It's failed me!"
But the worst is when you get home, unpack everything, and realize you forgot the one thing you went to the store for. It's like, "Congratulations, you've just won the grocery shopping lottery of forgetfulness!
Post a Comment