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What did the photon say when asked if it needed help? 'No thanks, I'm just passing through.
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I tried to make a joke about the uncertainty principle. I'm not sure if it was funny or not, and neither is the audience.
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Why do quantum physicists make terrible stand-up comedians? Their timing is always uncertain.
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Did you hear about the physicist who was addicted to quantum mechanics? He couldn't resist the urge to take things to a whole new level.
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Why do quantum physicists never play hide and seek? Because good luck finding them and proving they were hiding at the same time!
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What did the neutron say to the bartender? 'I'll have a charge on the rocks.
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