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Joke Types
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I promised my computer I would stop talking to it like it's a person. But let's face it, it's my only 'Windows' to the world!
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I promised to organize my life, but it's a mess. Guess I need to sort it out!
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Why don't promises ever go to parties? They're afraid they'll break dance!
Promises and Technology
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Technology promises to make our lives easier. I got a smart fridge that promised to remind me when I'm out of milk. Now, it thinks I'm lactose intolerant because it never stops reminding me. I open the fridge, and it's like, Hey, remember, no milk for you!
Dating Promises
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Dating is like a game of promises. They say they'll call, they say they'll text, they say they'll show up. It's like playing a game of hide and seek, and most of the time, they're professionals at the hiding part. I think I've dated more ghosts than real people.
Political Promises
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Politicians make promises like toddlers make sandcastles. They build them up, and as soon as they get into office, the first wave of reality washes them away. I'm starting to think they should campaign in a sandbox – it's the only place where those promises might actually hold up.
Promises at the Doctor's Office
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The doctor told me to eat an apple a day to keep him away. I've been eating apples religiously, but he just keeps showing up. I'm starting to think he's in cahoots with the apple industry, making promises they can't keep. Next thing you know, they'll be prescribing me apple-flavored medicine.
Broken Promises
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You ever notice how promises are like New Year's resolutions? You start off with the best intentions, swearing you'll hit the gym every day or finally learn a new language. But by February, you're back on the couch, binge-watching a TV show in a language you still can't understand.
The Promise Diet
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I tried this new diet where I only eat what's promised on the packaging. Let me tell you, it's a hungry diet. Low fat, they said. Well, I'm still waiting for the fat to pack its bags and leave my body. It's probably sitting in the living room, watching TV and ignoring my eviction notices.
Promises and Technology (Part 2)
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I bought a phone that promised to have a battery that lasts all day. Well, that was a lie. If my phone's battery were a doctor's shift, it would have the stamina of a medical intern during a double shift. It's flatlining by mid-afternoon.
Promises and Alarm Clocks
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My alarm clock promises to wake me up gently with soothing sounds. What it really does is scream at me like a drill sergeant, demanding I rise and shine. If I wanted to wake up feeling like I'm in a war zone, I'd just join the military.
Promises at the Gym
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I signed up for a gym membership, and they promised me a beach body. Well, I've been going for a year, and I still look more like a snowman than someone ready for the beach. If I wanted to be this round, I'd just stay home and eat donuts.
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