4 Jokes For Pratt

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 16 2024

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You ever notice that the name Pratt just sounds like it's synonymous with problems? I mean, if someone starts a sentence with "I've got a Pratt situation," you just know it's not going to end well. It's like the universe decided that anyone with the last name Pratt is destined for a life of chaos.
Imagine being a Pratt at a job interview. The interviewer asks, "So, Mr. Pratt, how do you handle stress?" And you're just there thinking, "Well, my last name is Pratt, so stress handles me!"
I bet there's a support group out there just for people with the last name Pratt. They sit around in a circle, sharing their Pratt problems. "Hi, I'm Chris Pratt, and I accidentally left my phone on during an important movie scene." "Hi, Chris!
You ever notice how people with the last name Pratt always seem to be on the edge? I mean, they're one bad day away from Pratt-icidal tendencies. Chris Pratt's probably out there, stressing over whether to choose the red or blue M&M.
And then there's Spencer Pratt, who, let's be honest, had the most Pratt-icidal moments on The Hills. I can picture him arguing over who stole his crystal collection or something equally ridiculous.
I just wonder, if there was a Pratt superhero, would their arch-nemesis be Chill? Like, "Oh no, it's Chill! The only one who can counteract the Pratt-icidal tendencies!
You know, I've been thinking about the name "Pratt" lately. Is it just me, or does anyone else get confused when they hear that name? I mean, there's Chris Pratt, who's the charming, handsome actor from Guardians of the Galaxy, and then there's Spencer Pratt from The Hills, who's, well, let's say a bit less charming.
I'm just trying to figure out which Pratt is the true representation of the name. Is it the Pratt that can save the galaxy with a raccoon and a talking tree, or is it the Pratt that, well, let's be honest, couldn't save his own relationship on reality TV? It's a real Pratt-astrophe of confusion, isn't it?
And what if there's a regular guy named Pratt out there, just trying to live his life? I bet people ask him, "Hey, are you more of a Chris or a Spencer?" That poor guy must be so Pratt-sed with the question!
You know, we need a Pratt-aissance. A revival of the Pratt name! Let's find a new Pratt, one who breaks the stereotype. Maybe a Pratt who's a therapist, helping people deal with their Pratt-icidal tendencies. Or a Pratt who's a chef, creating dishes that make you forget all your Pratt problems.
I say we start a campaign to redefine the Pratt legacy. Because right now, it's like the name Pratt is carrying a backpack full of issues, and we need to lighten the load. So, if your last name is Pratt, embrace it! Be the Pratt we all need in this Pratt-astrophic world.

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