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Have you ever noticed how someone's Facebook relationship status changes more frequently than the weather? It's like they're in a constant state of "It's complicated" with commitment.
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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild night is staying up past 9 PM to post on Facebook, only to immediately regret it the next morning when you see your questionable late-night thoughts in the light of day.
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Facebook events are like the online version of committing to plans you have no intention of keeping. "Attending" is the new way of saying, "I'll think about it and probably end up binge-watching a series instead.
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You know you're deep into procrastination mode when you find yourself scrolling through the Facebook profiles of people you went to high school with, trying to convince yourself that you're not the only one who aged like a fine wine – or more like a questionable cheese.
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I love how we all become social media detectives when someone adds us as a friend. You click on their profile like you're investigating a crime scene, analyzing their photos and posts, trying to figure out if they're friend material or a potential Netflix documentary waiting to happen.
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Facebook is the only place where it's socially acceptable to eavesdrop on conversations and then, without any context, just comment, "I totally get it!" It's like we're all part of this massive virtual support group for things we know nothing about.
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Nothing says "I have my life together" quite like meticulously editing your Facebook profile to make it look like you're living the dream. Meanwhile, in reality, you're just trying to remember where you left your keys.
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Facebook memories are like a nostalgic trip down the rabbit hole of bad haircuts and questionable fashion choices. It's a reminder that, at some point, we all thought frosted tips were a good idea.
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The like button on Facebook is the silent nod of the internet. It's the digital way of saying, "I acknowledge your existence, but don't expect me to engage in an actual conversation.
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