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I'm convinced that pillows are time travelers. You go to bed with a perfectly plumped pillow, and when you wake up, it's like a deflated balloon. I swear, pillows are secretly visiting the future, experiencing the weight of the world, and coming back to warn us with their newfound fluffiness.
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Pillow shopping is an adventure. You walk into the store, and suddenly you're faced with more choices than a Netflix binge. Memory foam, feather, gel-infused – it's like a bedding buffet. I just want a pillow, not a doctoral thesis on sleep engineering.
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Pillows are like the marshmallows in a bowl of cereal - you can never have too many. You start with one, but by the end of the week, your bed looks like a marshmallow factory exploded.
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You ever notice how pillows are like the unsung heroes of the bed? They endure hours of face smashing, drool attacks, and the occasional accidental elbow drop. It's like every night, they're in a battle royal, and yet they still fluff up the next morning, ready for another round.
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Pillows have this magical ability to disappear when you need them the most. It's like they play hide and seek, and right when you're ready to catch some Zs, they're off hiding in the linen closet, having a good laugh.
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Pillow fights as a kid were the original MMA. I don't know about you, but I never understood how a soft, innocent pillow could become a lethal weapon in the hands of a determined sibling. Forget karate lessons; we should've been taking pillow fighting classes.
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I've realized that the more pillows you have on your bed, the more adult you feel. It's like an unwritten rule of adulthood – the more throw pillows you own, the more put-together your life is. I'm just waiting for the day when my collection of pillows qualifies me for a mortgage.
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Pillows are the ultimate confidants. They've witnessed every midnight snack, Netflix marathon, and emotional breakdown. I bet if my pillows could talk, they'd have a bestselling novel in them – "The Chronicles of Midnight Snacking and Dreaming Big.
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Why do we always have that one pillow on the bed that's like a decorative hostage? It never gets used for anything except looking fancy. It's the pillow equivalent of the friend who only posts inspirational quotes on social media but never actually leaves the house.
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