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You ever notice how when you own a piece of land, suddenly everyone has landscaping advice? "You should plant some roses." Yeah, Susan, I can't even keep a cactus alive, but sure, let's go for the delicate flowers.
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I love how we buy land thinking we'll build our dream house, but in reality, it's more like, "Well, I guess I can fit a shed here, and maybe a tiny garden... or a really, really small castle.
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Buying land is like playing Monopoly in real life. You roll the dice, land on "Boardwalk," and suddenly you're broke, eating instant noodles in your one-bedroom apartment. Thanks a lot, real estate dreams!
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You ever notice how when you buy a piece of land, suddenly everyone becomes a geography expert? "Oh, you got that parcel by the river? That's prime real estate!" Yeah, Bob, I bought it because it has a nice view, not because I'm starting a fishing club.
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I was checking out this piece of land, and the realtor was like, "It's a blank canvas." I'm thinking, "Great, I can finally express myself with some avant-garde landscaping... or just leave it as a really expensive lawn.
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I recently bought a piece of land, and the real estate agent was like, "This area is up and coming!" I'm just waiting for it to start 'coming' because right now, it's more like napping.
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I tried to build a treehouse on my land, thinking it would be a nostalgic retreat. Turns out, I never quite outgrew my fear of heights. Now it's just a really expensive birdhouse.
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You ever try to mow a massive piece of land? It's like playing a never-ending game of Pac-Man. You start at one corner, and by the time you get to the other, the first part needs mowing again. It's the circle of lawn.
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I told my friend I bought a piece of land, and they said, "Oh, you're investing in the future!" Yeah, the only thing growing right now is my impatience waiting for the value to skyrocket.
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