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I told my perverted friend a joke about construction. He thought it was riveting – nailed it!
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I asked the perverted librarian if they had any books on paranoia. They whispered, 'They're right behind you.
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What did the perverted bee say to the flower? 'You really know how to blossom, baby!
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What did the perverted light bulb say to the lamp? 'You really brighten up my day!
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Now, I'm a perverted chef – I make a killing with my saucy recipes!
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I bought a perverted parrot, but it just couldn't stop squawking at inappropriate times. Now, it's my ex-squawk-sition bird.
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What's a pervert's favorite fruit? A peacherotic – it's always a juicy experience!
Perverted Pets
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My cat has this weird habit of staring at me when I'm changing. I'm like, Dude, have some decency, you're a perverted furball, not a fashion critic!
Perverted Elevators
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Elevators are getting too smart. I was in one, and it announced each floor like a flirtatious game show host: Welcome to the fifth floor—where things get a little risqué!
Perverted Doorbells
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I got a smart doorbell, and it's way too perceptive. It greeted me with, Hello handsome, someone's at the door. Maybe it's your future ex asking for alimony.
Perverted Socks
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I bought a pair of socks the other day, and they were definitely perverted. Every time I took off my shoes, they were just standing there, whispering, Peek-a-boo!
Perverted Technology
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Technology is so perverted nowadays. I asked my virtual assistant for a weather update, and it responded, The forecast is hot and steamy, just like our conversation.
Perverted Coffee Machines
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My coffee machine is suspiciously perverted. It makes these suggestive noises in the morning, like it's brewing more than just coffee. I'm afraid to ask for a cappuccino.
Perverted Fortune Cookies
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I opened a fortune cookie, and it said, You will have a night of passion. I thought, Finally, my cookies are getting more action than I am!
The Perverted Chronicles
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You ever notice how technology is getting a bit perverted? I mean, my phone's auto-correct suggests the most inappropriate words. I just wanted to type ducking!
Perverted GPS
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I think my GPS has a perverted side. I missed a turn, and it said, Recalculating... just like your love life. Take the next right, and maybe you'll find romance.
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