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Why did the Parisian carry a map? In case they got 'Louvre'd' in the city's art maze!
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Why did the Parisian bring a magnifying glass to the Eiffel Tower? To get a closer look at what 'pari-sians' do!
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Why do Parisians only use one egg in their omelettes? Because one egg is un œuf!
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I told my friend I bought a painting of Paris, but it turned out to be a faux-pas!
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Did you hear about the Parisian baker who became a musician? He got a lot of 'bread' in the music industry!
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What's a Parisian's favorite kind of tree? The Eiffel Tower, because it's 'oak-ay'!
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I tried to impress a Parisian by reciting a French poem I learned in high school. Turns out, 'Roses are red, violets are blue' doesn't quite have the same romantic charm when translated. She just raised an eyebrow and walked away.
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Paris is the only city where I can get lost in a roundabout and end up in a street that sounds like a Harry Potter spell. 'Turn left onto Rue de Lumos.' I half expected my GPS to say, 'You've arrived at Diagon Alley, Muggle!'
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Trying to speak French in Paris is like playing a game of linguistic Twister. I asked for directions, and the local replied in rapid-fire French. I just stood there, nodding like I was auditioning for a mime role in a French soap opera.
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Paris has more museums than I have relatives. I visited so many that I started treating them like speed dating. 'Nice meeting you, Mona Lisa. Next!' I even tried swiping right on a sculpture, but my phone didn't appreciate art.
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In Paris, the Eiffel Tower is like their version of the neighborhood cell tower. You ask for directions, and they're like, 'Just head towards the giant metal thing.' So, I wandered around until I found a landmark that looked like an oversized paperclip.
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Paris is the only place where you can mispronounce 'croissant' and still get served. I asked for a 'cross-ant' once, and the waiter just nodded like, 'Close enough, you uncultured donut.'
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Parisians are so fashionable that even their dogs look at me like, 'Seriously, sweatpants?' I thought my outfit was chic until a French poodle side-eyed me on the street. I felt judged by a canine fashionista.
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Paris: Where even the pigeons have attitude. I tried to take a selfie with one, and it gave me this look like, 'Do I look like I want to be on your Instagram, Karen?'
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You know you're in Paris when you start saying 'merci' instead of 'thank you' at the drive-thru. I pulled up to McDonald's and said, 'Big Mac, s'il vous plaît.' The cashier was so confused; she handed me a McBaguette.
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