17 Jokes For Oscar Wilde

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Updated on: Jun 08 2025

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I tried writing like Oscar Wilde, but my pen filed a complaint for overworking!
I tried to challenge Oscar Wilde to a duel of wits. He said, 'I never engage in battles of unarmored opponents.' Ouch!
Oscar Wilde's autobiography is so good; even the index has a sense of humor!
Oscar Wilde's favorite song? 'Wit and Mischief' – he dances to his own tunes!
What's Oscar Wilde's secret talent? The ability to turn tea parties into tea-rific gatherings!
Oscar Wilde's favorite gardening tool? The wit-whacker – for cutting through dull conversations!
I bought a new dictionary with Oscar Wilde quotes. It's the only book where the index needs its own index!

Oscar Wilde's Guide to Success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made!

You know, Oscar Wilde once brilliantly remarked, The secret of life is in art. And I think he might've meant the art of faking it till you make it. In today's world, sincerity is the new currency. But let's face it, we're all trying to hustle our way through with a smile, nod, and a bit of insincere enthusiasm. Fake it till you make it, they say. Well, I've faked being an adult for years now, and I'm still waiting for the instruction manual to arrive!

Oscar Wilde's Dating Advice: Remember, flirting is the art of keeping uncertainty at a comfortable distance until you're close enough to share your weirdness!

Have you ever heard Oscar Wilde's thoughts on relationships? He once said, The very essence of romance is uncertainty. I think he might've been onto something there. I mean, dating nowadays feels like a high-stakes poker game where nobody knows the rules, and everyone's bluffing with their emotions. It's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube while blindfolded and hoping for a love connection!

Oscar Wilde's Thoughts on Technology: The only thing worse than being talked about is not having enough battery to join the conversation!

Have you ever pondered Oscar Wilde's perspective on technology? He once said, The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. Now, in today's world, that applies to our gadgets. There's this constant fear of being left out of the digital dialogue, desperately seeking chargers like they're the elixir of life. I swear, low battery anxiety is the modern-age horror story we didn't see coming!

Oscar Wilde's Approach to Life: Live life so fully that even your ghosts have a fantastic time haunting!

You know, Oscar Wilde famously said, To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. I'm determined to take that advice seriously. I'm living life to the fullest, making memories left and right! I'm just hoping that if I do come back as a ghost, I'll be the kind that adds a bit of class to haunting. Maybe haunt a mansion, play some elegant piano music, you know, be the envy of other ghosts!

Oscar Wilde's Guide to Fashion: Always dress to impress, because you never know when you might bump into an ex or a future ex!

You know, Oscar Wilde once said, Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. I guess that explains why my closet looks like a battleground between style and sanity. I mean, who decides when it's time for bell-bottoms to make a comeback? It's like our clothes are in a constant game of hide and seek with good taste, and fashion designers are the referees!

Oscar Wilde's Philosophy on Procrastination: Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, and then complain about it eloquently?

Oscar Wilde had this brilliant take on procrastination. He said, I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do — the day after. Honestly, that's a mantra I've unintentionally mastered. I've perfected the art of leaving things until the last minute and then performing a one-man show of complaints and excuses that could rival Shakespearean soliloquies!

Oscar Wilde's Fitness Tips: Remember, the only exercise I enjoy is a stimulating conversation... about how much I hate exercising!

Oscar Wilde once quipped, I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. Well, that makes two of us! I've tried joining gyms, yoga classes, even attempted jogging once, but my body's rejection of physical activity is so consistent, it's practically an Olympic-level event! Who needs a six-pack when you can have a well-stocked snack cupboard, right?

Oscar Wilde's Recipe for Success: Be yourself because everyone else is already taken... and mostly making it up as they go!

Oscar Wilde once famously said, Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Sage advice, but let's be real here — being yourself in today's world is like trying to stand out in a room full of emojis. You've got influencers, trends, and a sea of opinions. It's a chaotic symphony of authenticity and imitation. So yeah, I'm just here, being myself, and hoping it's not too much of a train wreck!

Oscar Wilde's Views on Politics: The only thing worse than talking about politics is not talking about politics... said no dinner party host ever!

Oscar Wilde once said, The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. Now, apply that to politics, and you've got a recipe for guaranteed tension at any social gathering. It's like bringing up politics at a dinner party is the modern equivalent of juggling hand grenades. Everybody's on edge, carefully tiptoeing around controversial topics until someone accidentally drops the bomb, and suddenly, it's chaos and indigestion for dessert!

Oscar Wilde's Golden Rule for Success: Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more than kindness!

Oscar Wilde had this fantastic golden rule about forgiveness. He said, Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. It's a brilliant strategy, isn't it? It's like pouring salt on a wound, but with a smile. Because what's better than winning a battle? Winning it with kindness and leaving your enemies scratching their heads, wondering what on earth just happened!

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