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I told my friend I was getting orthopedic shoes. He said, 'You're really stepping up in the world!
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Why did the orthopedic surgeon always excel in school? Because he knew how to stay grounded!
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Why did the skeleton go to the orthopedic doctor? To get a joint checkup!
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I asked my orthopedic surgeon if I could touch his shoes. He said, 'Sorry, that's a step too far!
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I asked the orthopedic surgeon if he could recommend a good joke. He said, 'I've got a hip one for you!
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I asked my orthopedic doctor for a good pun. He said, 'I kneed to think about it!
I got an orthopedic dog bed – now my dog thinks he's a therapy dog!
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Bought my dog an orthopedic dog bed, and now he walks around with this profound sense of purpose. He's convinced he's a therapy dog, providing emotional support to all the other neighborhood pups. I didn't realize a bed could give a dog such a big ego!
Orthopedic Chairs – the only seats endorsed by my back's union!
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I got one of those orthopedic chairs for my home office. It's the only chair endorsed by my back's union. I can almost hear my spine saying, Finally, a seat that respects the 9-to-5 grind we're putting in every day!
Orthopedic Clinics – where you go for a consultation and leave with a retirement savings plan!
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Went to an orthopedic clinic, and they didn't just diagnose my joint pain; they handed me a retirement savings plan. I asked if they also have a plan for my sense of humor, because this joint pain is turning me into a stand-up philosopher!
Orthopedic Shoes – Because my feet have decided they need a retirement plan too!
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You ever notice how orthopedic shoes sound like something your grandma would wear to bingo night? I mean, are my feet planning for retirement or something? They're not even paying bills, last time I checked!
I bought orthopedic pillows, but now my dreams have back pain!
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So, I got myself these orthopedic pillows, thinking they would give me the sleep of the gods. But now, even my dreams have lumbar support issues! I wake up in the middle of the night, and my dream is like, Can we take a break? My imaginary spine is killing me!
My orthopedic surgeon told me I need knee surgery. I asked if there's a 'knee spa' option!
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Went to the orthopedic surgeon, and he said I need knee surgery. I asked him if there's a 'knee spa' option instead. Maybe a little massage for my knees, cucumber slices for my joints? I heard surgeries are just too mainstream nowadays!
Orthopedic Sofa – the real reason my grandparents never left the living room!
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Growing up, I always wondered why my grandparents never left the living room. Turns out, they had an orthopedic sofa – it's like quicksand for the elderly. Once you sit down, there's no getting up. It's the ultimate retirement plan!
I tried orthopedic insoles, but now my shoes think they're on a spa vacation!
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I decided to pamper my feet with orthopedic insoles. Now my shoes think they're on a spa vacation. I caught them discussing their newfound comfort like, Ah, the arch support in this place is divine. Let's not go back to those regular sneakers – they're so last season!
Orthopedic Mattresses – because counting sheep is a workout!
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I recently got an orthopedic mattress, and now counting sheep feels like a CrossFit routine. By the time I reach ten, I've burned more calories than I did at the gym! Who knew sleeping could be so exhausting?
Orthopedic Braces – because my body decided it wants to be a building!
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Started wearing orthopedic braces, and now I feel like my body's trying to become a construction site. I'm just waiting for the blueprint and the cranes to show up. I've got the scaffolding; let's build a better me!
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