bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Why did the ancient calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates to process!
0
0
Why did the oldest sock in the drawer go to therapy? It had too many 'holes' in its past!
0
0
What's the oldest tool in the shed? The saw, because it's always cutting-edge!
0
0
Why did the oldest tree in the forest apply for a job? It wanted to get to the root of the problem! 🌳
0
0
Why did the ancient computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage!
0
0
What do you call the oldest joke ever discovered? A prehistoric punchline!
Oldest Tricks in the Book
0
0
You ever notice how ancient advice is always passed down like it's the holy grail? My grandma gives me tips like she's the original life coach. Sweetie, to find true love, you gotta play hard to get. Works every time! Yeah, Grandma, that's because they didn't have Tinder back in your day. The only swipe they knew was when they tried to kill a mosquito with a newspaper.
Grandma's Grand Theories
0
0
Grandmas have this belief that if you sit in the cold, you'll catch a cold. It's like they think viruses are just hanging out in the breeze, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting victims. My grandma once said, Honey, wear a sweater, or you'll end up with the flu! I guess the common cold is allergic to wool.
Ancient Technology Woes
0
0
My grandpa still thinks Google is an actual person. He's like, I'll just ask the Google. Grandpa, it's not some wise old man sitting in a library; it's a search engine. But you know, maybe if Google had a face and a personality, it would have more patience dealing with our ridiculous queries.
Centuries-Old Cuisine
0
0
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. My great-great-grandma's cookbook takes it literally. Her recipes are like, First, perform open-heart surgery. Then, serve a hearty stew. No wonder they lived longer back then; they were probably just trying to avoid the family dinners.
Dinosaur Dating Tips
0
0
Dating advice from my great-aunt feels like she's describing the mating rituals of dinosaurs. Make yourself look big and impressive, roar a little, and hope they don't mistake you for a herbivore. Well, Aunt Mildred, I tried that at the bar, and security asked me to leave. Apparently, T-Rex impressions are frowned upon.
Seniority Showdown
0
0
Getting older comes with its perks, they say. Wisdom, experience, and the ability to forget why you walked into a room in the first place. I asked my grandpa the secret to a long life, and he said, Son, it's simple. Outlive your enemies. So now I'm just hanging out, waiting for that guy who stole my lunch in third grade to kick the bucket.
Prehistoric Parenting
0
0
My mom's parenting technique is like she took a time machine from the past. She says, I brought you into this world; I can take you out of it! Really, Mom? You're threatening me with extinction like you're some kind of prehistoric asteroid. I guess bedtime is the new mass extinction event.
Stone Age Self-Help
0
0
You know you're dealing with ancient wisdom when the advice starts with, Back in my day... I asked my dad for some guidance, and he said, Son, when in doubt, rub some dirt on it. Really? I'm not sure how dirt is gonna fix my emotional trauma, Dad. Maybe I should've brought a shovel to my therapy sessions.
Ancient Gym Wisdom
0
0
My uncle claims he stays in shape with the oldest exercise known to man: running from responsibilities. He says it's a full-body workout. Dodging bills, evading commitment, and doing mental gymnastics to justify ordering takeout instead of cooking. I guess I've been unknowingly training for the Olympics my entire adult life.
Old School Love Advice
0
0
My grandpa gave me relationship advice, and it went something like this: Find someone who can cook, laugh at your jokes, and tolerate your nonsense. Bonus points if they can still hear after all the yelling during family dinners. Well, Grandpa, I found someone. Turns out, they're a chef with a hearing aid and a questionable sense of humor.
Post a Comment