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Why did O'Toole take a paintbrush to the party? He wanted to 'brush up' on his social skills!
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Why did O'Toole bring a saw to the comedy show? He wanted to 'cut' through the tension!
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Why did O'Toole start a landscaping business? He wanted to 'dig' the jokes!
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O'Toole's favorite type of humor? Construction comedy – it always builds him up!
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Why did O'Toole bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
O'Toole's GPS
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O'Toole got a new GPS, and it's so advanced, it doesn't just give directions. It provides a running commentary on his life choices. In 500 feet, O'Toole, reconsider that third slice of pizza. You'll regret it in about 20 minutes.
O'Toole's Auto-correct Woes
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O'Toole recently discovered auto-correct on his phone. Now, every text message from him is an adventure. He once tried to invite me for coffee, and the message read, Let's meet at the usual donut. I have no idea what the usual donut is.
O'Toole's Razor
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Have you heard of O'Toole's Razor? It's the principle that states, Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by someone forgetting where they put their keys. I live my whole life by it. O'Toole is like a philosopher for absent-minded people.
O'Toole's Cooking Show
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I suggested O'Toole start a cooking show. He loved the idea and called it Lost in the Kitchen. The first episode was about finding the salt. It lasted four hours and ended with him ordering pizza.
O'Toole's Pet Peeve
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O'Toole's biggest pet peeve is losing things. He once lost his patience, and we're still searching for it. If anyone finds it, let O'Toole know—he's been a bit grumpy without it.
O'Toole's Time Management
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O'Toole is a time management expert. He can spend hours deciding how to spend his time. It's a skill, really. He's like a time-traveling philosopher with a very loose concept of punctuality.
O'Toole's Guide to Time Travel
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I was talking to O'Toole the other day, and he claimed to have mastered time travel. I was skeptical until he showed me how he can make an entire hour disappear just by searching for his glasses. Einstein would be proud.
O'Toole's Detective Agency
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O'Toole thinks he missed his calling as a detective. He can find things that no one else can. Except, of course, for his own keys. It's like they're playing hide and seek, and the keys are undefeated champions.
O'Toole's DIY Adventure
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O'Toole decided to build his own furniture. I asked him how it was going, and he said, Well, I've nailed it, but I can't find the hammer now. DIY with O'Toole is like a treasure hunt with questionable results.
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