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Joke Types
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What's a nerf's favorite type of math? Division, because it always wants to split.
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I used to be a baker until I got fired. Apparently, my bread wasn't nerfected.
Nerfing Office Politics
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Office politics is like a nerf war. Everybody's shooting foam darts at each other, pretending it doesn't hurt. You know things are getting serious when someone starts using the soft, cushiony Nerf sword during a meeting. I challenge you to a duel for that corner office!
Nerfing Adulthood
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Adulthood is like playing with a nerf version of life. You think you're going into battle, and then reality hits you with a soft, cushy pillow. Congratulations, you're an adult now. Here's your nerf job, nerf bills, and a nerf sense of responsibility. Good luck out there!
Nerf or Nothing!
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You ever notice how as adults, we try to nerf everything? I mean, back in the day, nerf was just a brand of soft toys, but now it's a life philosophy! I asked my friend if he wanted to go skydiving, and he said, Sure, but can we nerf it a bit? Maybe jump off a stool with a bedsheet as a parachute?
Nerfing Fast Food
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I went to a fast-food place the other day, and they handed me a nerf burger. I was like, What's this? A foam patty between two sponge buns? I guess they figured if the food is soft enough, it won't hit your stomach like a ton of bricks. Would you like fries with that, or should we nerf your entire meal?
Nerfing Fitness
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I tried joining a gym recently, and they handed me this nerf dumbbell. I'm there, lifting this foam-covered weight, thinking, Is this for real? Are we preparing for a pillow fight or trying to get ripped? I guess the gym figured, if you're going to break a sweat, let's make it a soft, gentle sweat.
Nerfing Breakups
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Breakups have become so nerfed. It's not about tearing each other's hearts out; it's more like a polite exchange of nerf arrows. Here's your stuff, and oh, here's a foam dart for the emotional pain. Take care!
Nerfing Time Management
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We're even nerfing time these days. Have you heard of the nerf calendar? It's got these soft, squishy dates that you can move around as you please. Yeah, I'll just push Monday to next week and squeeze in another Saturday. Who needs a stressful schedule when you can have a nerfed timetable?
Nerfing Technology
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Technology is getting nerfed too. My phone has a nerf case that puffs up every time I drop it. It's like, Oh, did you fumble your phone again? Don't worry, let me just inflate this protective bubble around it, because gravity is just too harsh.
Nerf Relationships
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Relationships these days are like a nerf version of what they used to be. People don't break up; they just go on a relationship break as if putting a foam pad around your heart is going to soften the blow. Honey, I think we need a nerf in our relationship. Let's take a break... with safety cushions.
Nerfing Horror Movies
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Horror movies these days are so nerfed. They used to have us jumping out of our seats, but now it's all about gently startling us. I watched one the other day, and instead of a chainsaw-wielding maniac, it was a guy with a nerf sword politely asking, Excuse me, would you mind running away in a mildly frightened manner?
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