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My neighbor said he's a good gardener because he has a green thumb. I said, 'I'm a great neighbor because I have a 'wave'!
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Why did the neighbor bring a ladder to our conversation? He wanted to take it to the next level!
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Why did the scarecrow become best friends with the neighbor's garden? It heard they had great 'soil' mates!
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Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the neighbor? Because it saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the math book want to be friends with the neighbor's diary? It heard it had some good 'problems' to share!
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Why did the neighbor start a band with his lawnmower? He wanted to cut through the noise!
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Why did the neighbor bring a ladder to the barbeque? Because he heard the steaks were high!
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Why did the neighbor bring a pencil to the party? In case they needed to 'draw' closer!
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I told my neighbor I was on a diet, and they said, 'Oh, that's great! We're starting a new cookie-of-the-month club.' Thanks, neighbor, for helping me stick to my resolutions, one cookie at a time.
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My neighbor's dog has a louder social life than I do. I'm trying to watch a movie, and suddenly it's like, 'Bark, bark, bark!' I'm just sitting there thinking, 'Is the dog narrating the plot or critiquing my film choice?'
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I have this neighbor who thinks their car is a musical instrument. Every morning, they compose a symphony of honks and alarms. It's like waking up to a car alarm sonata.
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Neighbor, the only person who knows my schedule better than I do. I come home, and they're like, 'Ah, 7:23 PM, right on time for the nightly elephant parade upstairs.'
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Neighborly advice: If you ever want to test your relationship, try assembling IKEA furniture together. If you survive that, you can get through anything, even the mysterious clanging noises from the apartment next door.
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My neighbor is so eco-friendly; they recycle everything, including my attempts at friendly conversation. It's like I'm talking to a human recycling bin.
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My neighbor's WiFi password is stronger than my last relationship. I asked them for it, and they were like, 'Sorry, it's a complicated one.' I'm over here thinking, 'I just wanted to binge-watch cat videos, not hack the Pentagon.'
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Neighbor, the only person who can turn a casual wave into a full-blown awkward encounter. I wave, they wave, and suddenly it's like we're reenacting a scene from a Shakespearean tragedy with hand gestures.
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I have this neighbor who's a gardening enthusiast. They're so committed that I think their plants have a better chance of getting a Christmas card from them than I do.
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