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The necktie is like a subtle form of torture. It's the clothing equivalent of holding your breath for eight hours a day.
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I've realized that wearing a necktie is the adult version of being on a leash. Instead of a parent pulling you away from trouble, it's the dress code pulling you into meetings.
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I think the inventor of the necktie must have had a pet snake. "Hey, this slithery thing around my neck looks fancy. Let's make it a fashion statement!
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Wearing a necktie is like wearing a decorative noose. It's just a fancy way of saying, "I'm trapped here, but at least I look good.
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You know, the necktie is like a fashion's leash. We put it on to show we're 'professional,' but secretly, we're just being led around by a strip of silk.
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I've come to the conclusion that neckties were invented by someone who wanted to see how many people they could convince to voluntarily wear a slightly uncomfortable noose around their necks.
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The necktie is the only piece of clothing that screams, "I mean business!" while simultaneously whispering, "I'm choking.
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Neckties are like socially acceptable nooses. Except instead of ending your life, they strangle your comfort.
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The necktie's sole purpose is to make us look professional, but all it really does is make us feel like we're being hugged by an overly strict fashion choice.
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