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Let me tell you about the lovely sister chronicles. She's got this incredible talent for borrowing things and never returning them. I mean, I've lost more clothes to her than I have to my laundry machine. It's like my wardrobe is on a permanent vacation at her place. Last time I checked, I didn't sign up for a sibling swap program. If anyone sees my sister wearing my favorite shirt, tell her I said it looks better on her. Just don't tell her I said that.
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You ever have that sibling telepathy thing going on? My sister and I have it down to an art. We can communicate entire conversations with just a look. It's like our eyes have their own Morse code. One blink for "Mom's mad," two blinks for "I ate the last slice of pizza," and a slow blink for "I need you to cover for me." It's like having a secret spy language, but with less espionage and more arguments about who gets the remote control.
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You know, folks, I've got this lovely sister. She's so sweet and innocent, at least that's what she wants you to think. But I've uncovered her secret weapon - guilt trips. Oh, they should give her a black belt in emotional judo. The other day, she gave me that look, you know the one where her eyes widen, and she tilts her head just a little? Boom! I'm guilt-tripped into helping her move furniture. I'm not sure if I'm her brother or her personal moving company.
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My lovely sister fancies herself as an advice guru. She gives me advice on everything - love, career, fashion. I'm pretty sure if I asked her, she'd give me advice on how to microwave popcorn. But you've got to be careful with sisterly advice; it comes with a side of brutal honesty. I asked her once if my new haircut looked good. She squinted, took a deep breath, and said, "Well, it's unique." That's sibling code for "You should wear a hat until it grows back.
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